The Twelve Days of Rewrites

By Ronda Simmons

In our finest of holiday traditions, we bring to you our annual Yuletide carol. With hope for the new year, the inspiration for your writing, and a dash of motivation, we wish you health, wealth, and all of the words.


Thanks and Happy Holidays from the NCW Leadership team and The Writing Bug staff.

On the first day of rewrites

my agent gave to me:
an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the second day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the third day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the fourth day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the fifth day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
5 golden blurbs,
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the sixth day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
6 typos typing,
5 golden blurbs,
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the seventh day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
7 metaphors mixing,
6 typos typing,
5 golden blurbs,
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the eighth day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
8 spaces kerning,
7 metaphors mixing,
6 typos typing,
5 golden blurbs,
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the ninth day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
9 dashes dashing,
8 spaces kerning,
7 metaphors mixing,
6 typos typing,
5 golden blurbs,
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the tenth day of rewrites
my agent gave to me:
10 commas Oxfording,
9 dashes dashing,
8 spaces kerning,
7 metaphors mixing,
6 typos typing,
5 golden blurbs,
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my agent gave to me:

11 participles dangling,
10 commas Oxfording,
9 dashes dashing,
8 spaces kerning,
7 metaphors mixing,
6 typos typing,
5 golden blurbs,
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my agent gave to me:
12 infinitives splitting,
11 participles dangling,
10 commas Oxfording,
9 dashes dashing,
8 spaces kerning,
7 metaphors mixing,
6 typos typing,
5 golden blurbs,
4 paper cuts,
3 comp titles,
2 copy edits,
and an espresso with some extra caffeine.

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One thought on “The Twelve Days of Rewrites

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